by ToxicWaste

#1. Barter the most expensive console you've ever designed.

#2. Sell the most expensive controllers ever.

#3. Sell your controller(s) through separate parts.

#4. Market a name that non-gamers can't read or initially pronounce.

#5. Additional setup required.

#6. Package a single controller with a double eyed console.

#7. Lose the horses.

#8. Make games that just might be a bit frantic or tiring for the osteoporosis-stricken citizens you're trying to allure.

#9. Generate menus and channels that could, in a sense, be more fun to use than the actual software...

#10. Never, ever let your product work efficiently on an HDTv.


And to prevent a hostile fanboy attack...
...10 Ways to Attract the Mainstream:

#1. Sell your console significantly cheaper than the competition.

#2. Provide the simplest (and possibly the "funnest") controller ever designed.

#3. Drive in neutral.

#4. Support virtual backwards compatibility.

#5. Innovate online functionality.

#6. Look sexy.

#7. Give away your most intuitive game.

#8. Encourage avatars.

#9. Give consumers instant access to the News, Weather, Web, and anything else nongamer folk seem to care about.

#10. Issue SD card support, you know, for the digital camera crowd.



Conclusion to Quotiing-
Even with Peter Molyneux, Mark Rein, and Keita Takahashi's lack of Nintendo support in the past, nothing can deter from the issues at hand. Based on what we've seen, many can't argue that some games may be a little tiring to use, and some games will be gimmicky, and that some uses of innovation actually aren't as necessary as we'd like them to be. But really, aren't these merely the common pre-launch worries? It's not like Sony is going to be able to dodge this week's ribbing of bad press for the upteenth time. So, if any of my previous points angered or frustrated you in any way, don't be flustered; three bothersome developers are not the ones that'll be supporting the system throughout it's life, you are.

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